Fang And Vanille's Q and A Show
by LilVirga
Summary: Fang and Vanille host a Q and A! Review a question and they shall answer!
1. Introduction

**Final Fantasy XIII Q & A**

We see a funky yellow background with a purple and orange hearts circulating with an upbeat music in the background. (Think of the FF13 Chocobo Theme). Suddenly in the Purple heart we see Fang's face making kissy faces at the camera and in the orange heart we see Vanile waving vigorously.

"It's~" an announcer's voice booms out as the hearts morph into the letters Q and A, "Final Fantasy XIII's Q & A! With your hosts Oerba Yun Fang and Oerba Dia Vanille!"

The camera pans into a talk show stage. of course the background wall is yellow and there is a green desk, where sitting behind it is the hosts.

Fang and Vanille are wearing their signature clothing.

"Ello, our lovely fans!" Fang sang out with a quick bow before sitting in her seat as Vanille blew kisses to the audience (who all screamed obsessively). "Welcome to our talk show. This is obviously a Q & A? and for those of you who are like Snow and asked" She deepened her voice while crossing her eyes, " 'What does Q and A stand for?' "

"Q and A stand for Question and Answer." Vanille answered with a growing smile, excited that she was on t.v.

"Since it's the first episode, we were only given three questions. Which were all asked by our annoying manager." She gives the author of this fanfiction, who is also the manager a sideways glare, and of course being the scaredy cat the manager was was she cowered in fear.

"Anyways!" Vanille turned Fang's direction back to the camera as she continued. "The first question is..."

**Vanille? Whenever you talk you seem to fake your Pulsian accent? Are you pretending to have one or what?**

Vanille cocked her head to the side with a slight pout. "You think my accent's fake?" Her lip quivered as Fang glared at me who had already ran off somewhere.

"I'll answer for her- NO HER ACCENT ISN'T FLIPPIN' FAKE!" She hollered, angry that the question was enough to make her cry. "And if any of you ask a question that makes my Vanille cry I'm gonna -bleep- and -bleep- then -bleep bleep bleep bleeeeeeeep - WITH A VACUUM CLEANER!"

"Actually, Fang..." Vanille began, wiping the tears again. "The reason I'm crying is because...my accent is fake!"

"What!" Fang exclaimed when Vanille talked with a western accent. "But, your from Pulse. Why do you not have the accent?"

"It's a long story-"

"Well, you only got thirteen minutes left-" the manager began but was cut off by a spear grazing her ear. "Ow! Son of a b-"

"Back to me!" Vanille once again directed Fang's attention away from the annoying manager. "While growing up my parents noticed my voice had a lack of the Pulse dialect. Even the doctor said that I had some sort of speech problem. Thoguh it's all still a mystery how I got it, but my mom taught me how to use a pulse accent. And well, sometimes I forget to use it and slip up. And didn't know it was noticeable."

"So," Fang said after taking all that in, "it's basically like having a lisp or something?"

"Sure!" Vanille answered trying to get her pep again. "Okay! Next question!"

**What does it feel like being crystal?**

"Surprisingly..." Vanille started off, "It's not as uncomfortable as people think. It actually is quite cozy."

"Okay!" Fang jumped up onto the desk. "Imagination time! Now...it's like, going to a five star hotel suite and getting to sleep on freshly washed bed sheets and spread on a cold night. It's like that."

"You should try it!" Vanille added. Fang rose an eyebrow at this.

"Er, Vanille, they can't actually, you know, just become crystal. That's only from our world, and even from this world they can't just do it whenever they please!"

"No," the redhead giggled, "I mean sleep in a five star hotel."

"Oh! We should go after this show!"

"Why, we live here."

"Just for some alone time." the dark skinned pulsian purred, as Vanile blushed a giggled.

"Wrap it up, you guys!" the manager added as they continued to flirt.

As if they had forgotten they were on camera they continue their show.

"FInal question!" Fang quickly announced as Vanille awkwardly twirled her hair.

**What is your favorite song?**

"He's My Best Friend!" Vanille instantly laughed as she started bouncing in her chair, her pigtails moving along with her.

"Who!" Fang asked out of nowhere. "Sazh?"

The younger girl shook her head as she continued to bounce. "My favorite song!"

"Oh..." Fang's eyebrows wrinkled as she thought about the song she liked the most. "I guess some sort of...Breaking Benjamin song."

"Who?" Vanille asked with another cock to her head. Fang grinned at the girl.

_She's so cute._

"Two minutes!" The manager cued.

"Okay!" Fang started again, "that's it for the first episode! Send in a question and we will try to answer the best way we can."

"It can be about our thoughts about our friends, and such," Vanille added.

"Until next time!" The two girls bowed, "ADIEU~ 3"

**AN: Yeah first episode not that exciting because I couldn't think of questions. I bet you'll be more creative with the questions. Next episode I promise will get better!**

**Send in a review asking your question.**

**It may be more then one question (Of course don't ask like twenty of them!) You may ask a new question every episode. Have fun with it!**


	2. Fang x Vanille x Hope?

**Final Fantasy XIII Q & A**

**Episode 2**

The opening sequence for the Final Fantasy XIII Q & A plays as the announcer once again says...

"It's time for the Final Fantasy XIII Q & A! With Oerba Yun Fang and Oerba Dia Vanille!"

The camera pans down to the desk where the two hosts sat. Fang wore a long sleeve white shirt, sleeves pushed up and wearing jeans with Vanille wearing a blue spagetti strap dress with a white tank top underneath.

"Ello, and welcome back to the Final Fantasy XIII Q and A or for short: FF13QA."

Fang looks over to see Vanille shaking her head to one side like she just got done swimming, her pigtails shaking with her.

"Vanille..." Fang began, finding her movements amusing. "What are you doing?"

"My ears are ringing. Maybe you should stop playing Breaking Benjamin in the dressing room." She whimpered when she stopped shaking from the dizziness. "Whoa..." she gasped.

"Anyways, let's start the first question." Fang picks up an orange notecard. "This is for Vanille."

**Vanille, Fang said at one time she would "tear down the sky to save you" what is your reaction to that?**

**-TheWarrior12**

When Fang finihed reading the question, Vanille looked to Fang with a hint of pink on her cheeks.

"Fang, you mean that?" Vanille gasped, the color darkening.

"Of course I do, Vanny." Fang told her sincerely.

The audience awed as a chorus at the beautiful affection displayed between the two. The two Pulsians cameback into reality and realized they were on camera. Fang coughed awkwardly while Vanille twirled her pigtail.

"Ahem. Next question by the same person."

**Fang, how old were you when you got your black tattoo?**

**-TheWarrior12**

Vanille sinked in her seat as a sinister grin curled up on Fang's face.

"Should I tell the story?" She asked the younger girl. Vanille shook her head but Fang still said "I was sixteen and of course in Oerba. The thing obout Oerba is that it mostly consisted of women. Every six girls, there was a man. So when it was mating season...yeah I know like animals, the men that was to be wed chose six women they wanted to have children with. I dreaded the day it will happen to me. And I was dating Vanille at the time, eighter though she was only fourteen."

"So, I started a trend for all the other lesbians in our home, which were alot. Since the men were not likeable at all. Whoever had this tattoo, was taken by another woman. Of course I got in trouble and such but at least all the women that wanted to marry a man got to."

The audience didn't say a word after she was done talking. Fang looks directly into the camera with a somehow smug look on her features. "Didn't expect that did ya?" She asked.

"Fang's day isn't complete until she has terrified a complete stranger or catch people off guard." Vanille added while swirling in her chair. She picks up an orange card. "Now here's a question for me."

"Wait, Vanny." Fang interupted, eighter though you can't see her. "Hey babe, bring that camera back to me."

The camera pans back to Fang as she rise, which ends up capturing her chest area. "My face is up here." Her finger pointed upwards as the camera panned up to Fang's face.

"Thank you. Now. Since most Q and As are boring as hell, we decided to make things a little interesting."

"Define interesting?" the cameraman asked.

Fang frowned at him. "Uh, your behind the camera. So you don't exist. In other words keep your mouth shut."

"Fang!" Vanille cried as the camera swiveled to the red head. "That was mean."

"Fine!" Fang was back on the screen. "I'm sorry. Now, as I was saying! To make things more interesting, we decided in the next episodes, the first people to review and ask a question, can be on the show to participate and participate in our Pulsian challenges."

The audience roared in excitment at the news as they conversed with one another about finally reviewing. Vanille popped her head into view and whispered something into Fang's ear.

"Yeah..." Fang shook her head awkwardly as Vanille looked a bit put off. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that. But I guess it slipped my mind."

"It didn't slip your mind!" Vanille whispered but was loud enough for the camera to catch what she was saying, despite the havoc in the audience. "You just knew I wouldn't approve of this! I mean, the people here are from Cocoon or that other weird planet, Eerth or something like that!"

"Shh!" Fang put a finger to the younger girl's lips. "It will be fine. Leave everything to mama."

"Uh, ladies," the cameraman whispered behind the camera.

"Marluxia!" Fang shouted, frightening Vanille. "What did I say about being unseen and unheard!"

"But the manager is yelling at me that you need to get on with the show! You have five minutes left,and one more question!"

The two girls sat back in their seats quickly.

"I'll tell you more information after the show. Vanille will you read the next question?"

Vanille looked around for the orange notecard and read:

**Vanille, do you like Hope enough to be in a relationship with?**

**-Oerba Yun Hope**

"I knew there was going to be a question about Hope." Fang mumbled slightly jealous.

"Well," Vanille began. "I think Hope is very cute and sweet. But unfortunately...I don't know if the fans will like this but, I'm kinda in a relationship with Fang-"

"I KNEW IT!" A random audience member bursted out pointing an accusing finger at the two. "YURI RULES!"

"Yuri Rules!" The audience rumbled.

"No!" A girl cried jumping out of the audience with a Hope x Vanille banner. "Vanille, you and Hope were meant for each other!"

"Hope and Vanille! Hope and Vanille!" The audience cheered.

The same man stood in his seat with a furious expression. "Fanille is canon!"

"No!" The girl yelled back. "Hope x Vanille!"

"Wait!" Vanille shouted.

The audience once again went into an uproar until a spear soared through seperating the man and young girl. Fang stood on the desk furious.

"Everyone. LET VANILLE FINISH THE DAMN QUESTION!" She sat back in her seat and gave Vanille the go ahead.

"Thank you." She said as she was abit shaken up at how everything started just by a basic explanation. "Now. If I weren't in a relationship with Fang-" Fang gave a warning glare to the man about to start something again. "Hope will definitely be someone I want to have a relaionship with. Any girl will be lucky to have him. But-" Vanille cautiously stood up, looking like she was ready to sprint. "I...prefer reading Hope x Vanille fanfiction then Fang x Vanille fanfiction!" And she was gone.

"WHAT!" Fang screeched as the audience once again was in a uproar. "Oerba Dia Vanille get your cute ass back over here!" and she was at her heels.

The manager **(AN: Me) **sprinted to the set to finish the message.

"While Fang is strangling Vanille, I will like to explain how the whole challenge thing works. After you review your question you give a description of yourself whch we will put at the AN. You can even volunteer your favorite Final Fantasy Character or Anime character or any other videogame character in the challenge portion. We won't neccesarily tell you what the challenge is, but we will ask a question for you to answer with the description that will give you a hint."

The redhead came running back to the set and turned toward the opening where Fang probably was coming from. "I only like that fandom better because the people write better! Our fandom is all smut! AH!" She ran as Fang casted Firaga on her.

**Name:  
>Gender:<br>Age:  
>Planet (If on Earth where from):<br>Height:  
>Hair:<br>Eyes:  
>Clothes:<br>Personality:  
>Special notes: <strong>_**like you are obsessed with sweets or wield the death note, just throwing things out here:**_

***Hint***

**Do you have a strong stomach?**


	3. Picking on Vanille

**Fang and Vanille Q & A Show**

**AN: Sorry if I didn't get everybody in this episode. If your not in this one I guarentee you'll be in the next one**!

Like usual, the opening sequence was displayed as the announcer gave his usual greeting:

"It's time for the Final Fantasy XIII Q & A, with your hosts, Oerba Yun Fang and Oerba Dia Vanille."

The camera pans down to where Fang and Vanille were sitting. Fang was wearing a white cotton shirt with a brown fur vest over and green slacks while her partner wore a yellow and green patched dress with black hot pants.

"Ello'." Fang greeted the audience as some shouts such as "We love you Fang" and "Have my babies Vanille!" were hollered. "Alright, today's episode we got a lot going on. Not only do we have questions but we have special guests and a surprise challenge at the end! Are you ready!"

The audience cheered, some stomping in their seats.

The manager gestured for the crowd to silence so they can continue with the show.

"Today," Vanille carried on, "we have four special guests. Our first guest is...That...Person..."

The audience looked at each other not knowing who Vanille was refering to.

"Who?" Fang asked her partner.

"That's just it, that's her name."

A girl appearing to be eighteen years old with black hair carrying a notebook approached one of the four chairs set out for the four guests appearing on tonights show. She chose to sit in the red one, farthest from Fang's side.

"Your name is...ThatPerson?" Fang asked. The girl nodded. "And where are you from?"

"Gran Pulse," she answered, "but I'm not pulsian I'm a question asker..."

Vanille shared a look with Fang, who was make a 'She's crazy' sign, before the redheaded pulsian slapped her partner's arm playfully.

"Our next guest is Narugacuga!"

And eighteen year old, six foot four with black long and slightly spiky hair with light skin, wearing black jacket with black pants with a red strip running down the side entered and took their seat in a green chair next to Fang.

"So Naru," Vanille giggled at the pet name she gave the new guest, "Where are you from?"

"Cocoon, though I go out to Pulse to hunt," Narugacuga winked at a nearby audience member who squealed.

"Next," Fang continued once the audience was done getting riled up, "is Blablatok."

A girl about fifteen (same age as the manager) dark hair practically sprinted across the set to a blue chair that was farthest from Vanille. "I can't believe it! I'm on t.v. and on Gran Pulse! This is like a dream come true, I never knew this could possibly happen to me because all my friends say that someone like me can't go to Pulse and I was-"

"Whoa girlie!" Fang interupted while Vanille giggled at the girl's talkative nature. "Now tell us a little bit about yourself."

"My name is Blablatok, I'm from London, I'm told I talk alot but I'm also funny, and sometimes I do this thing where I get really excited and start talking so much and rambling that it sometimes get on people's nervous. My blood type is-"

"I said little bit!" Fang interupted once again.

"And our final guest is a close friend of ours that we-"

"dragged onto the show. Please welcome Hope Esthiem!"

Once again, that damn audience was rioting as soon as the name was spoken. At first no one came on until you see the manager carrying Hope over her shoulder, which was quite amusing considering they were the same height. She plopped him down into a yellow chair next to Vanille then left the set toward the stands where the audience sat.

"Hi, Hope!" Vanille greeted waving like he wasn't already right next to her. He gave a shy smile to the rest of the occupants of the stage.

"Alright, let's-"

SCREEECH...

The manager dragged a chair over and squeezed herself in between Fang and Narugacuga with a tired sigh.

"Virga," Fang began, looking a bit put off, "What are you doing?"

"I'm tired from chasing Hope around the dressing room, getting Blablatok to shut up, Narugacuga to stop fighting with ThatPerson" she points to ThatPerson(hehe) who just grins. "And now, I'm really tired and feel I deserve a rest."

"Well," Fang continued, "can't you do that OFFSTAGE!"

"Do not yell at me, your lucky to even be in this business, I could have easily given the job to Snow. I still can do that."

"Well back to the show, ThatPerson, do you have a question?"

ThatPerson opened her notebook and flipped through all her notes mumbling here and there some names which took a good two minutes before she found the question she wanted.

"How does Vanille sound like when she moans?"

Vanille looked at Fang then at the audience who gave her the same expectant look.

"You expect me to answer that?" Vanille asked perplexed.

"Well, yeah." Fang answered. "This is a Q and A show and that question is adressed to you."

"But I don't want to...show that..." Vanille's face blushed scarlet.

"It's not like you don't do that." the older pulsian continued, "in fact, we don't even have to be doing that in order to get you to sound pleasurable."

"What are you talking about?"

"Yes!" The manager then suddenly appeared on camera. "Finally I get to test out my montage t.v."

"Montage t.v?" Vanille asked, knowing she regret it. Why does Fang do things without her knowlege?

"Montage t.v. is a series of clips we put together and show the viewers on t.v. Like some times when you moan."

"W-what!" Vanille jumped up in her seat and began leaving the set. "No! Don't play that!"

"Roll the clip!" Fang and the manager told the people in charge.

_Back during the l'cie episode, Lightning and Vanille were sent to search for food. Since it took a little longer then normal, the two decided to rest while Vanille fell asleep._

_Lightning decided to spend the time polishing her gunblade, since there was nothng else that really interested the ex soldier. Suddenly she thought she heard a noise and stopped in the middle of polishing her gunblade, to listen closely._

_"Oh..." a soft sound shuttered out of Vanille. It sounded like one of her battle cries that would earn questioning looks from her teammates. Especially Sazh._

_Is she dreaming about fighting? Lightning got up from her comfortable spot under the tree and attempted to wake Vanille up when another cry erupted from her lips._

_"Oh, Fang!" She moaned as she turned over._

_"Oh God!" Lightning groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose._

The audience wolf whistled and laughed after the clip. ThatPerson was silently cheering in victory, Narugacuga had a cocky grin on his face, Blablatok was cackling in her seat at Vanille's expense, and Hope looked like he wanted nothing more then to sink into his seat.

"Fang!" Vanille exclaimed, face as red as her hair, "Where are on Earth, Cocoon, and Pulse did you get that clip!"

"Wait, baby," Fang was trying to stifle the fit of laughter threatening to come out while the manager was not attempting to hide her amusement at all, "There's more."

"More!"

_"There it is!" Snow announced as he pointed up to the tree. Vanille decided to help Sazh out by taking Dajh to the park and help him fly a kite. It was all going great until Snow and Serah happened to be at the park, and of course Vanille had to say hi._

_That was until the younger boy came to Vanille crying about how he lost his kite. So Serah offered to take him out for icecream while Snow and Vanille looked for the missing toy._

_"Great job Snow!" Vanille cheered as she spotted the green and yellow chocobo kite peeking out of the top branch._

_"Unfortunately," Snow began, "I'm kinda to big for these branches, I mean their barely hanging and just by tugging on them, I might break it. Don't want a kid running by and getting hurt because of my fat ass."_

_"I'll get it!" Vanille said already making her way to the tree._

_"Vanille, you sure you can climb this tree?" Snow asked, taking out a cell phone to probably call somebody who he thought could._

_"I grew up in Pulse. You think I can't climb a tree in a park?" Vanille rose an eyebrow but giggled anyway. The bigger man snorted in amusment._

_"Sure go for it."_

_Vanille started by reaching for the first branch, which was pretty far up, and left her dangling a bit. She gave Snow a sheepish grin._

_"I might need help to start." The red head said a little embarressed at how difficult the task had already gotten. Snow rolled his eyes amused, and easily lifted her on his shoulders._

_Sazh was looking around for the redheaded pulsian, since he had his son in her custody._

_"Ah!" Sazh stopped when he heard Vanille's familiar...noise._

_"What's that girl doing now?" He asked himself as he was looking for Vanille._

_"Snow!"_

_"Snow?" the dark skinned man looked toward the tree, where he recognized the noise coming from._

_"AH!"_

_"Agh!"_

_Thud!_

_Snow landed on his back, with Vanille toppling over him, the chocobo designed kite falling onto the grass nearby. They both looked up realizing how totally awkward their position is._

_"Okay," Sazh began, "I'm gonna assume this is a big misunderstanding."_

The volunteers, (besides Hope) were laughing along with Fang and the manager like they were old buddies remininsing. Vanille was burying her face into Fang's shoulder.

"Come on, Vanny," Fang laughed, carressing the younger pulsian girl's hair. "This is some funny stuff."

ThatPerson leaned over to Narugacuga with a wide grin. "Man, am I glad I came on today."

"Can we go to the next question already!" Vanille begged agitated, though it wasn't very visible.

"Alright, baby. Narugacuga, you have questions for us?"

The tall eighteen year old grinned a wicked smile in Vanille's direction, and in response she sunk in her chair.

_This can't be good..._

"I have three questions." Narugacuga said. "This one's for Vanille."

Vanille gulped.

"Do you share a bed with Fang, or do you have seperate rooms?"

The audience oohed at the question. The Fanille fans all hooted, and the Hope x Vanille fans crossed their arms in a pout, feeling like they already lost. Whatever battle it was.

"Actually," Vanille began, giving Narugacuga one of her own smug grins, but instead of looking intimidating, she just looked like a five year old. "We do have seperate rooms."

The Fanille fans gave a defeated sigh as the Hope x Vanille fans looked a bit more relaxed.

"However..." Fang's eyes gave off a mischievous glint that made Vanille go rigid in her seat. "That doesn't mean she doesn't sometimes make her way into my room..."

"WOOOO!" The audience started a lot of ruckus, and of course Vanille felt herself sink lower.

_Maybe this show was a bad idea..._

"Another question..." The audience grew silent, seeming to love anything else that comes out of Narugacuga's mouth, "For Fang..."

Vanille grabbed Fang by the shoulder and quickly whispered, "Fang don't embaress me, please."

Fang was about to say something but noticed Vanille's eyes look a bit moist.

_Is she...going to cry? We were just kidding around, I didn't mean for it to get that far._

"Alright Vanille, I'm sorry." She mouthed back, still listening to the question.

"Did you know," the eighteen year old continued, "that when you win a battle, the way the camera pans out you can see up your skirt?"

Fang smirked, "what you like what you saw?" The manager elbowed Fang in the side. "I was aware of people probably taking a glimps or two but, what is this camera you speak of?"

Everybody went silent and crickets could be heard. The only people who didn't know about "the camera" was Fang, Vanille, and Hope (who was quietly sitting in his seat hoping everyone forgot him.)

"And for my third question," Narugacuga continued again, ignoring Fang's previous question, "is for Hope."

"Damn it!" Hope swore under his breath.

Narugacuga smirked, knowing what the younger boy was up to, "hey how you doing?"

Hope narrowed his eyes at the eighteen year old.

"Anyways,"

"Today, Naru!" Fang spat, wanting the show to be more about her and Vanille.

"Why do you wear that hankerchief?"

"WHAT!" A random audience member jumped up in her seat glaring at Narugacuga, "That was the best question you can come up with him?"

"Why not? I want to know where it came from?"

"Who the hell are you anyways?" ThatPerson asked.

"Yeah," Blablatok added, wanting to say something for the longest. "Because in order to ask a question you have to review and since we actually tried getting to be the first people to review so we can do the challenge, your defeating the purpose by blabbering up a storm. Am I talking to much, I think I'm talking too much,"

"Hey, honey," the manager coaxed, seeming to know how to deal with chatterboxes. "your turn is next."

The girl smiled sheepishly and pretend to zip her mouth and throw away the key, hitting Hope in the face.

"No its alright," Narugacuga said pointing toward the intruder, "Why do you think my question is stupid?"

"Beacause," she started, "you got Hope up here? You could ask about who he likes better or ...nevermind." she sat back down quickly.

"...okay..." The manager quickly dismissed the intruder.

"Okay, my answer now?" Hope asked, uncertain if it was okay to speak now.

"Yeah, go ahead." Fang nodded her head.

"Well, it was passed down from my mom, from her mom, from her mom-"

"Wait!" Fang rose her hands up, a smirk making her way to her lips. "...it's a girls hankerchief...?"

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything." Hope mumbled.

"Aw, that's so cute!" Vanille squealed.

"OH MY GOSH!" The manager spoke up standing up and checking her watch. "We have ten...wait, twenty minutes, we got time." and sat back down.

Fang rose an eyebrow at this. "Blablatok, your next."

She threw her arms up in a sort of victory pose, having waited for a long time to ask a question. "Okay, this question is for Fang and Vanille. When did you guys meet? Where? How? Did you grow up together? Did you start off as friends then became a couple? Or did you live together-"

ThatPerson leaned over and clamped a hand over Blablatok's mouth.

"I see why they call you that." Fang joked, as the girl nodded her head, trying to pry ThatPersons hand off. Fang then started laughing then shortly after Vanille joined her.

"Remember how we met, Fang!" Vanille wiped the laughing tears out of her eyes.

"Yeah. Okay," Fang cleared her throat to seize her laughing. "We met at a burial ceremony."

The audience grew quiet.

"A burial ceremony?" Hope questioned, "as in like somebody died?"

"Yeah, one of our elders..." Fang and Vanille looked like they were about to laugh again, "...f-fell out of a tree!" And they were laughing again.

"Why on earth was Elder Kimahri climbing a tree!"

"D-don't know!"

The four volunteers looked at each other, clearly understanding it's a private joke.

Fang was able to stop laughing long enough to finish the question. "I was fifteen and Vanille was thirteen, we got in trouble for laughing in the middle of the speech. Remember Garik was all, you kids do not understand the situation!"

After they were finally cooled down from their mini episode, the manager looked at her watch again, "Ten more minutes!"

"Uh oh!" Vanille was fighting giggles, "we have to do the challenge."

"Alright," Fang stood up from her seat, "the moment we've all been waiting for...the first challenge today is an eating competion!"

The four volunteers sat at a dining room table, blindfolded and waiting for their first meal to arrive.

"I wonder what they are going to make us eat?" ThatPerson asked the others.

"They said something about the pulsian specialty," Hope answered.

"This is going to be so fun!"Blablatok was shaking with excitement, "I'm not from here so I'm not used to the foods pulsians eat, I wonder if their disgusting! Hey that was why they asked if we have strong stomachs because we're eating some really gross stuff and they want to see how much we last!"

"Your probably right, Blabla," Narugacuga said.

ROUND 1

"What was that?" Hope asked.

"Sounded like the announcer." ThatPerson answered.

Four chefs set down their respective plates as a note appeared under the screen, so the challengers wouldn't know what it was.

**Armadillo balls smothered in bat's blood.**

ThatPerson took a ball and popped it in her mouth. "Mmm! I know what these are!"

"Don't tell us!" Narugacuga warned, "it might make us hesitent." eighteen year old took a ball and popped it into his mouth, chewing it cautiously. He shivered after he swallowed. "How...do you like your food, guys?"

"I haven't tried it yet!" Blablatok babbled as she popped it into her mouth as well talking about how she can't wait to try it. She stopped. "Is this...spinach."

ThatPerson was going to say no but Narugacuga decided otherwise.

"Yes! We're eating spinach balls smothered in cream!"

Blablatok spat the food back into her plate and threw the blindfold off. "I hate spina-" she looked at food, realizing their not spinach, she didn't get a chance to say anything.

"Spinach?" Hope asked, "That's it? I love spinach!" And he eagerly took _two _balls (Hehe) and popped them into his mouth.

He then fainted.

The two remaining challengers unfolded their blindfolds and stared at the food on their plate.

"What is this?" Narugacuga asked wearily.

"Armadillo balls dipped in blood!" ThatPerson explained, while shoveling the rest of it into her mouth. "My favorite Pulsian dish."

"Your kidding!" the eighteen year old muttered as he glared at the offending food. "I refuse to lose to you!"

Narugacuruga dropped a ball into his mouth and chewed, feeling the crimson substance stream down his esophagus.

"...yeah," Narugacuruga's eye twitched, "stomach like a...behemonth..." the Cocoon habitant then spewed vomit all over the table, dripping onto Hope's unconcious form.

"EW!" Blablatok exclaimed as the puke landed on her feet, the sight made her throw up right on Hope, who had just woke up. Then _he _puked!

**Standby**

**AN: Sorry to Narugacuraga, I didn't know what gender the character was so I tried keeping it ambiguous, though I did leave a few "his" in there I believe.**

**Anyways next hint...**

***Hint***

**How athletic are you?**

**Go to chapter two to get your information stuff and you can be on the next episode! But you must leave a question.**


	4. Aeroball

**Fang And vanille Q & A**

**AN: Quick note about the other Final Fantasy XIII Characters. I personally love all the characters (except Serah, sorry Serah fans) but I also like making fun of them (Like Vanille and Hope) so if I go a bit to far, I'll back up a bit. It's all good! =-)**

"It's time for the Final Fantasy XIII Q & A show! Here are your hosts!" The announcer began, "She started a trend on Pulse at the age of sixteen, Oerba Yun Fang! And her lover that Fang will tear the sky down to save, Oerba Dia Vanille!"

The camera pans down to the pulsians sitting at their desk. Fang was wearing a black leather long sleeve shirt with a red jacket over it and black pants to match. Vanille wore a blue and red sleeveless short dress with a cute beret placed ontop, her pigtails sticking out.

"Ello' and welcome to another episode of the Fang & Vanille Q & A show." Fang greeted.

"Actually," Vanille pointed out, "it's called the Final Fantasy XIII Q and A show or FF13Q&A show."

"Yeah whatever, let's bring out our guests!" The audience cheered, "Our first guest is Aragorn."

A lean, tall, and dark man, wearing chainmail walked across the set earning a whole applause from his fans. He took his place in the red chair farthest from Fang.

"So, where are you from?" Fang asked the hero.

"Middle Earth." he answered, his voice gruff.

"Excellent," Vanille replied. "Tell us a little bit about yourself."

"Well, I am a man with a strong sense of justice."

"We finally picked up a cool person." Fang whispers to Vanille who was facinated by the guest. "Our next guest is King Cold!"

Only one person clapped when a purple saiyan came onto the set and sat next to Aragorn in the green chair.

The audience were frozen in complete terror.

"How did we get him?" Vanille asked, a bit frightened of their guest.

"He, had a question for us and registered." Fang murmured back to her partner before directing her attention back to King Cold who was ready to fight with Aragorn. "So, Cold, can I call you that?"

"No."

"So, Cold. What brings you here today?" she asked.

"I have no obligation to tell you anything."

Crickets can be heard throughut the entire room. Again, that one audience member was clapping, Aragorn was debating whether the saiyan would cause harm to the two women, and Vanille clinged onto Fang.

"Your such a charmer." Fang kidded, finally getting a laugh out of the audience since he came. "And now our last guest of the night, Ariah!"

A girl appearing to be sixteen with short brown hair, wearing a white tank top with jeans pranced across the set to sit next to Vanille in the yellow chair.

"Hi," she greeted warmly, easing the tension in the room. "I'm so excited to be here. I love you guys."

"Oh, we love you too." Vanille told her thoughtlessly.

"How can you love her you just met her?" Fang asked, finding Vanille's personality adorable.

The redheaded pulsian just ignored her, "So, Ariah where are you from?"

"I'm from Gaia."

"Anything special about yourself?" Fang asked her.

"I wield a staff and a very good spellcaster and fighter." She said still feeling giddy at where she was now.

Fang looked back at the camera, "Now let's-"

Virga, their manager, ran into the blue chair that was next to Ariah and took her seat.

"Virga," Fang began, "what have I told you about being unseen and unheard?"

"Actually," Marluxia appeared behind the camera, "you told me that."

"Basically," Fang went on, "this is getting way too crowded. We only asked for three challengers and she-"

"Fang," Vanille took the pulsian's hand, "It's alright, she can sit here if she wants to."

"Fine," Fang cried in exasperation, "Aragorn your questions?"

"Has the fal'cie threat come to pass?" he asked with all his seriousness and authority.

"To be honest," Fang started off, "I believe that all is fine, for now. Temporarily, it may just be the beginning of a greater threat."

"Then you have my sword."

"Thank you!" Vanille once again was unthinkably polite. Fang and Aragorn exchanged a look before they continued with the show.

"Sir," Virga interupted Fang who was about to speak, "I just wanted to say I've been a big fan of your for the longest and after the show is it okay if you give me your autograph?"

"Virga," Fang warned, already peeved at her very prescence, "your acting highly unproffresional, and you barely even asked us to shake your hand when you first met us."

"Let's go to our next question." Vanille said.

Someone in the audience raised their hand.

"Do you have a question?" the redheaded pulsian asked.

"Hi," the man stood, "my name's Steve and my question is for both of you."

"Go ahead, shoot." Fang gestured for Steve to continue.

"Do you think of Sazh as a dad or a bestfriend?"

The two pulsian women conversed with one another, considering an answer.

"Well, he is like the most friendliest person in the group." Fang started off.

"But when we need him to be he is our party's daddy." Vanille finished with a smile, she then looked to the camera kissing her finger tips and pressing them onto the glass "We love you Sazh!"

The audience awed at Vanille's actions. Whether it was becasue of how genuine she was or just at Vanille herself.

"You like Sazh huh?" King Cold asked, wait what!

Vanille leaned away from the purple saiyan, still finding him a threat, but Fang was already used to his prescence. Probably because he's been sitting next to her all this time and hasn't lunged at her since.

"...yeah..." Fang answered wearily, not trusting his tone.

"Then, this time is best to ask my question. Vanille,"

A small eep from the redhead was his response.

"Did you know that Sazh got a good look at your behind?"

At first, nobody said nothing. As if him being on the show wasn't weird enough, the question sounded just plain foreign coming out of his mouth.

After a good thirty seconds it sunk in. "What!" Fang exclaimed, while Vanille looked outright confused.

"Wait, what do you mean?" she asked, "When did that happen?"

"While you were at the Vile Peaks with him and you were climbing up on that ledge and your skirt almost flipped up but the chocobo blocked his view but still got an eyeful." Virga babbled.

Fang and Vanille exchanged alook with a mixture of confusion, embaressment, and furiousness (okay Fang was the only one furious).

"Wait, would you even know that?" Fang asked.

"I have my sources." the manager answered mysteriously.

"That man's going to die!"

"My second question." King Cold continued, seeming pleased with the effect it had on the two pulsians. "How is your relationship with each other?"

The dark haired pulsian looked over to Vanille with so much sincerity it made the whole room silent.

"She is everything to me." Fang answered as Vanille began to blush. "She's my best friend, my sister, someone to protect, and lover all at once. I'll never find anyone else like her."

"Oh my," the red headed pulsian tried to keep her joyful tears at bay, "I feel the same way. I wouldn't be here today if I never met you."

The two embraced as the audience cheered.

Ariah slowly raised her hand, but the two were still emersed in each other. When she cleared her throat, Fang peeked over Vanille's shoulder.

"My question is when did you have your first kiss?" the brunette asked patiently waiting (actually she was enjoying watching them).

Vanille pulled away from Fang to tell the story. "I was fourteen years old, and I had already had the biggest crush on Fang. So I decided to confess my love to her. I had it all planned, but of course,"

The redhead faltered a bit as she locked eyes with Fang again. "I got lost in her eyes, and froze, and before you knew it I was babbling. Going on about how I liked her and how I felt, and pretty much make a fool out of myself."

The dark haired pulsian laughed at the memory then once again took in Vanille into her arms. "I found it so adorable and I couldn't control myself." she pecked Vanille on the lips which earned a whole uproar in the audience. "I kissed her to get her to stop talking, though that was only an excuse." She winked at the camera.

Aragorn and King Cold looked at each other, feeling awkward at their current situation. Why did they sign up again?

And Ariah and Virga were giggling about how adorable the two pulsians were together.

"Alright," Fang pulled Vanille off her as the audience's excitement died down. "Let's get serious, as much as I want to continue to love Vanille in public I think our guests are getting a bit bothered. Any more questions, Ariah?"

"This question is for Vanille." She said. "Have you ever killed a bear?"

Vanille's eyes widened before she sunk in her seat. "I didn't mean to." She mumbled.

"This is the first I've heard of it." Fang sat up in her seat. "Do tell."

The redheaded pulsian looked into the camera and mouthed a sorry. Probably for all the animal lovers. "In Oerba, we make our own clothing. We kill animals and skin them. That's a man's job." She paused as she tried to recollect her story, having been a long time. "My father took me to go find some wool and a bear happened to be nearby. I'm against killing but he was attacking my daddy. So ..." she shrugged, we kinda got the picture.

"Um, quick question, you know that fur cloth thing you wrap around your waist." Fang asked, "That wouldn't happen to be the same skin that belonged to the bear you killed."

"After the...incident, my dad took it home. And when I turned twelve he gave it...to...me..." Vanille's voice faltered as if she didn't realized it before.

The audience grew quiet.

Ariah rose her hand to break the silence. "One mroe question. Fang, would you like to kick Snow's butt with me?"

"After the show honey bunch." Fang replied. "Okay, time for the challenge!"

"This challenge," the announcer began, "we're going to play aeroball (AN: Same rules as blitzball from FFX)! On team purple is the arousing and seductive (she's making me say this people)-"

"Just continue with the introductions!" Fang's voice cut off the announcer.

"m-my apologies. Oerba Yun Fang. The Cold and Ruthless Saiyan, King Cold. And the beautiful mage, Ariah!" The Purple team waved at the camera (Except King Cold who crossed his arms and gave a menancing look).

"On the Orange team. We have the adorably chipper Oerba Dia Vanille. The mighty warrior of Middle Earth, Aragorn. And the manager Virga."

The camera shows Team Orange, Vanille waving at the camera while Aragorn gave a curt nod. "Hey!" Virga complained. "How come I didn't get a cool nickname. Who wrote this cr-"

The camera cut her off as the announcer's face finally showed. There stood, Vayne!

"Finally," Vayne sighed, "Some camera time. This note was supposed to be enforced by Virga, but since she is on the field, or technicaly speaking the sky, I'm explaining. If you love the FFX fandom, then you know what blitzball is. Well, the rules are all the same except instead of playing in water, their playing in the air. Why can they fly? Because it FINAL FANTASY YOU MOTHER F-"

**Standby**

The camera pans down to the field in the sky as "Otherworld" plays.

"Let the games begin!"

The game ball was silver and gold that seemed to circulate around the ball, giving it sort of like a forcefield look. It spun before blasting off into the air. Aragorn is the first person to catch the ball. He aviated toward the purple team's net until the captain of that team came in in defense.

The dark haired pulsian tried blocking his way from his target as King Cold got in the way.

"'ey! Satan Spawn move out of my way!" Fang spat. She attempted to move him out the way just as Aragorn came in for the shot. The ball soared through as the goalie, Toad attempted to block but missed terribly.

**Team Purple: 0  
>Team Orange: 1<strong>

"We love you Aragorn!" The fanboys cheered as they body bumped each other.

The second round, Fang was given the ball and was heading to the opposite team, as Aragorn and Vanille blocked her way. She tries to pass the ball to Ariah who accidently fumbles it, which gets back to Aragorn. Ariah swore under her breath, not wanting to get Fang mad at her.

She and Fang attempted to retrieve the ball from the opposite team. But before they can reach him, he passes the ball to Virga.

"ROAR!" King Cold was flying towards her. When she saw the saiyan coming she ducked, and he missed. Pleasantly surprised that she was not killed she took the chance to pass the ball to Vanille who had been waving her arms for the passed thirty seconds.

The red headed pulsian knees the ball into the net, earning _another_ point for the team.

**Team Purple: 0  
>Team Orange: 2<strong>

Fang was once again given the ball. Aragorn and Vanille tagged team as the warrior charged at Fang, distracting her from the real threat. As she was trying to dodge him, Vanille snuck underneath her nose and snatched the ball right from under her arm.

Fang, a bit snipped that Vanille of all people got to the ball, was soaring after her, and the first thing Vanille did was pass it back to Aragorn, who caught it with ease.

Fang tries to get to Aragorn but King Cold of course got in the way again. The warrior knew his weak athletic ability, and smacked him in the face with the ball, staggering him, then hit the beautiful pulsian in _her_ face, and charged the ball right into the net!

**Team Purple: 0  
>Team Orange: 3<strong>

**Time Out**

On Team Orange, Vanille and Virga exchanged a high five while Aragorn had a small smirk on his face.

Fang called for a team meeting.

"First off, I will like to point out WE'RE LOSING!" she hollered, her competitivness getting the best of her.

"I'm sorry, Fang!" Ariah apologized, lowering her head in shame. The pulsian was going to chew her out for this, but realized how much she reminded her of Vanille. Well, she was the least of her prolems.

"You!" She pointed an accusing finger to King Cold.

"What?" He spat venomously.

"You are the worst aeroball player to have ever walked the land, flown the sky, and swam the waters."

"What did you say!" His voice was like an earthquake, which frightened Ariah to no end.

"I ain't scared of you!" Fang was already in his face, despite the height difference. "Read my lips: 'You are the worst aeroball player ever!'."

**Time In**

The game started and Fang catches the ball. Before she can even get turn around, Aragorn tackles her and retrieves the ball. Fang goes after him,but Aragorn shoots and makes the shot.

**Team Purple: 0**

**Team Orange: 4**

"WHAT THE F*** WE HAVE LIKE ONE MORE GAME LEFT IF THEY WIN AGAIN!" Fang complained as Ariah shrunk away from the woman, realizing she is actually going crazy.

The somewhat last round, Fang grabbed the ball, determined to win! But of course, Aragorn grabs the ball. And changing up the routine, passes it to Virga.

"GAAAGH!" King Cold hollered again, charging toward the short fifteen year old.

"Not again!" She cried as she quickly passed it to Vanille.

She was headed toward the net when she felt a hand grab her-

"AGH!" Vanille moaned as Fang grabbed the ball. She smirked, finding it handy to have known her special spot. But of course she was so interested in the noise Vanille was making that Aragorn was able to snatch it.

"I really hate that guy!" Fang complained, not even being able to enjoy her victory.

And of course, Aragorn makes the winning shot.

"NOOOOOOO!" Fang cried, angry that she had lost the game. "This is so unfair you cheated!"

"Fang!" Ariah tried to coaxed. "Calm down!"

"NO! I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" She grabbed her lance and started chasing her two teammates.

**Standby**

**AN: Yeah this was a bit random, but I love blitzball so much I wished it was a real game. In fact, me and my friends made it into a game only we couldn't hold our breaths underwater for hours on end so we had to do it on grass. It's like football/soccer. Maybe a little hockey.**

***Hint***

**Do you get scared easily?**


	5. Author's Note: Please Read

**Author's Note:**

**I am going to have to delay the story for at least a week because of exams coming up. Just wanted to inform you readers.**

**Can't wait for summer vacation!**

**- LilVirga**


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